The picture above, 'Daddy Issues' is more truthful than many fathers want to admit. Sadly, it has been proven that when a father is not active in his children's lives, that the children seek approval from other places, people and things.
Why you ask? Because children need to know that their parents approve of them, want them around, and love them. It is an important built-in need that follows the into adulthood. Young boys who need love and respect from their mothers today, will need love and respect from their wives tomorrow. Daughters who, today, desire love and protection from their fathers will need love and protection from husbands tomorrow.It has also been proven, that it is a cycle that grows as love often does. The children give respect and honor to their parents, and the parents give love and respect to the children. As one gives, the other gives from the heart. It's not a 'you do then I do' but rather a beautiful "I give, and expect nothing in return'' that marks the family of YHVH from the individuals of baal. After all, YHVH Himself started the giving. He gave us life, family to love us, a place to live, and food and clothing. He says in return, "If you love me, keep my commandments'', setting the guidelines for parents to come.
There is no certain way to parent. There would be ONLY if every child was a cookie cutter image, with instructions for care and growth to all be the same. But no child is the same. Some children need serious correction, some need a gentle voice to speak to them. All children need love but not all need it shown in the same way. Some need to be held and caressed while others need a firm parent to direct them. No two children are the same. Not even twins.
In reality, to say that you have to give to all because you give to one (for instance, a reward for good behavior to one child means every child gets one despite behavior) is incorrect logic. That trains the child to believe that they 'deserve' what they want regardless of how they behave. It enforces greed, and removes power from obedience and reverence. Sound familiar?
Absalom, the son of King David, was one of many of David's sons that thought they deserved power, gifts, and ultimately, kingship.
Every son of David's that had tried to take the throne, first showed signs of disobedience, irreverence, and bad temper. They first began to send fifty men before their chariots, an act that only a king was allowed to perform. But David had done nothing to stop his rebellious sons. And one by one, they were either killed, or banished from the realm.
David had loved each and every one of his sons, but because he did not correct his children, it was counted as hatred and resulted with the deaths of his sons.
Solomon on the other hand, raised by Bathsheba, loved God, and obeyed his earthly father and mother. In fact, all of Bathsheba's children were obedient children who reverenced God and King. They are never recorded in the books of history or tradition as being wicked and or evil as David's other children were. Surprising when you consider the sin of lust that David committed with Bathsheba, and the sins of both parties when they committed the immoral act.
This would show that it don't matter the sins of the parents, if they repent and turn from their wickedness, their children may still grow up to obey and reverence the Lord as well as those in authority over them.
Does your child need severe correction? do they need a gentle nudge? Take this before the Lord daily and then act on what He tells you. Take care that you do not ignore their needs, or correction, lest you become like Eli in the book of Samuel, who , by his disobedience, caused the ark to fall into the hands of the enemy during a crucial battle, and his sons, Hophni and Phineas, to die, and instantly after receiving the news, Eli himself died.
Be a responsible parent... love your children by showing you care, by being there when they need you, protecting them from dangerous people and places, and, when needed, by correction.
Shalom
